I really tire of those “list articles” that are scattered all across the internet. They’re boring, unsatisfying, and pointless click bait. I hate that I’ve decided to write one. Forgive me. I just can’t idly sit by and watch people make ridiculous mistakes by doing things that should be common sense. You’re all stupid and I hate you…. but I love you.
Okay… maybe that was harsh. I apologize. I’m stupid too…
I still hate you though. Know that I write these things in hypocrisy. My goal, however, is to make these things true. Is to follow the advice that I give. Is to better my life. I want to discuss with you what we learn through our own journeys. So read the following knowing that I’m here figuring it out with you:
1. Fuck Everyone Else
Actually no. You should only keep about… four. Four fucks. Keep them safely in your wallet, and spend them wisely. Every year your income should be four fucks. And NO, they don’t roll over.
Most people waste too much time doing things for people that don’t deserve it. In high school I found myself doing things to feed my ego, and to look cool. I was doing things that I thought people would enjoy whether or not I actually wanted to. I was giving too many fucks to people I don’t even talk to now. When you give your fucks to other people, you end up not having enough to fuck yourself.
Being fucked is nice. Getting fucked is not.
Fuck has many definitions. I’m not a dictionary, so I won’t share them. There is a difference of not giving a fuck, and doing what you need to fucking do. In this circumstance, you’re giving a fuck about yourself or a cause, without caring what people think of you. That’s how you truly not give a fuck. “Fuck Everyone Else” means to not care what they think of you. Not to not care at all. You shouldn’t spend your days with cynical indifference. Spend your days doing shit, because you fucking want to.
(Excuse my language.)
2. Look at Your Feet
I’m a huge example of this. I often spend my days longing for the past, and worrying about the future. It sucks, and it’s not a productive use of my time.
It’s good to stay grounded with where you are. Appreciate everything around you. If there’s any lesson to be learned about longing the past, it’s that when you’re in the present you have to the opportunity to make that moment the best memory.
There’s a problem with spending most of your time working for your future, as counterintuitive as that sounds. If you spend most of your time worrying about where you’ll be in ten years, you’ll miss out on where you are right now. And right now… is honestly just as important. You never know when your last day may be.
Your life is a book. Make it a damn good read.
3. Burn More Things
This may not be the best advice, but through my experience I have burned a few bridges. Some on purpose, most on accident.
I found it helpful though. When you burn a bridge, you have nowhere to go but forward, because you literally can’t turn back. The only thing you can do is learn from your experience as a pyromaniac.
If you’re looking for a cliche for this to make sense: Phoenix. Rise from the ashes as a majestic fiery bird. Be stronger, better, blah, blah.
The point is to not let mistakes hold you back. You did fail, but now you figured out a way to not fail again.
4. Talk to Strangers
Growing up you’re always told not to talk to strangers. That they’re all dangerous and want to murder you. That’s probably true, but ignore that fact. Most people are inherently good.
Now. I’m not telling you to pick up a hitchhiker who is carrying a hatchet and wearing a hockey mask. What I am telling you is that everyone has a story. It’s not your place to judge them.
Last night I was at a bar getting food. I sat down at the only available seat next to a middle-aged couple. Naturally I said nothing. I was there for food. Not for conversation. Yet, something happened and I laughed when he made a joke to the bartender. This caused us to have a conversation about a whole bunch of shit that actually gave me the idea to write this article, and specifically this section. They left before I was finished, and when the time came to close out my tab, the bartender informed me that the stranger had paid for my meal.
Multiple times has this happened throughout my life. Strangers have helped me out. From paying for my food, to inadvertently introducing me to people or things. Just don’t forget to pay it forward. Be that stranger that helps out somebody you don’t even know. If you can’t feed a person. Feed a meter. If you have no change. Help someone change.
Karma shit, y’know.
5. Read Someone Else’s Bible
What I really mean is to not be judgmental of other peoples beliefs. We’re all entitled to our own opinions. If you think my writing is shit. That’s fine. I don’t give a fuck. But don’t send me hate mail listing reasons why I should die, that’s not cool.
Tolerance is a key factor to happiness. I guess it goes back to that golden rule of treating people like yourself. I’m an atheist, but I respect all religion. I won’t call you dumb for believing it, I won’t say you’re wrong. I will drive you to church if your car breaks down, and I will support the crap out of you if you need a friend.
A lot of hate in this world stems from ignorance. People get frustrated when they don’t understand something, and instead of taking the time to learn, they project misdirected anger towards the thing that confuses them. Don’t be that asshole, instead….
6. Be a Jedi
The Jedi Code is honestly a great way to live. This a modified version of the code by Grand Master Luke Skywalker when reestablishing the Jedi Order:
Jedi are the guardians of peace in the galaxy.
Jedi use their powers to defend and to protect.
Jedi respect all life, in any form.
Jedi serve others rather than ruling over them, for the good of the galaxy.
Jedi seek to improve themselves through knowledge and training.
7. Love Everyone Else
Life sucks when you’re a cynic. Life sucks when you decide that everyone sucks. Trust me. I think everyone sucks all the time, but when you think these things it makes it harder to be accepting.
Why talk to the person next to you at the bar if you already think they suck? Why approach that cute girl/guy if you already think they’re a bitch/dick? There’s no point in trying, you’ve already convinced yourself these people will disappoint/hurt you.
That’s an awful way of thinking. It allows so many limitations to your life, and it makes you sad…. Trust me. If you find it hard to break this habit, then I suggest finding one thing that you do like about a person. “I like his or her taste in music. Maybe we can get along.” “I like the way you dress. Let’s go shopping together.”
Take shit one step at a time, and it’ll be easier making friends, and developing relationships. It’ll make your life suck less.