Unhappiness can stem from many sources. Choosing to acknowledge that you are unhappy stems from your heart. Acting against your demons to make choices to become happier, that stems from courage.
What makes you unhappy?
It can be as simple as a tedious work environment. It can come from the pressure of school. It could be that you’ve been stood up one too many times on blind dates. Whatever the reason, we all have something in our lives that causes us grief. What’s next is deciding if you want to continue to be unhappy.
How do you find the source?
I don’t have a generic answer that can solve all of your problems. I do, however, have a story that I can share with you: In the past couple months a lot of eventful things have happened. I went through a break up. The place I worked was going into foreclosure. And I’m still currently being denied enrollment into college. I guess it was easier to find the source of my unhappiness due to these three big things, but accepting that these things are the cause is much harder.
How do you accept that you are unhappy?
If you consistently find yourself blaming the world for why things are awful. Or even blaming yourself. Odds are you are not happy about something. There comes a point in every argument when someone has to accept defeat. So if you’re fighting the world, or even yourself. That person accepting defeat, will ultimately be you. Fighting any longer after this point, is just a waste of time. Accepting you are unhappy, is a productive step.
An underlying issue in my story was that my ex-girlfriend and I worked together. That wasn’t good for the healing process and was frankly awful for me. I became increasingly unhappy in this dead end job, and on top of that I couldn’t find the courage to quit. I wanted to quit the moment my relationship ended, but doing so meant accepting the fact that I wouldn’t be able to see her anymore. It meant finishing the last chapter of our story together, and I wasn’t emotionally stable enough to do that. Let alone admit to it.
I used every excuse I could. Blaming my unhappiness in the workplace to come from the store’s bankruptcy. Saying that I didn’t want to quit, because I may as well ride it out until the end. Saying I was going to quit because upper management wasn’t respecting me. I was making things up and ultimately convinced myself it wasn’t because of her.
Where do you find the courage?
Fear is a made up emotion. It can make you too nervous to act on a great opportunity. It can make you not talk to a cute girl in the coffee shop. It can make you too scared to ask for a raise. Your mind can always justify why you shouldn’t do something. “I didn’t approach that girl in the coffee shop because when we made eye contact, she looked away too fast.” Well maybe she didn’t realize you two made eye contact, because she was day dreaming, or maybe she has been looking at you, and by the time you looked up, you just coincidentally saw her look away.
One day. (Today, actually.) I came into work, and I couldn’t handle the fact that the store might close at any moment. I didn’t want to come into work one day to find a foreclosed sign on the front door. I didn’t want an outside source to call my shots for me. Suddenly at once. All these repressed feelings about why I’m actually still working there rushed to my head. I became scared. Now I’m aware. Now I have the choice.
I can sit back and let the world come at me, and hope for the best. Or I can stand up, take a leap, and hope it will work out, because in the end if it doesn’t work out, at least I can say it was my choice.
After pacing back and forth trying to decide if this was a good idea. I made myself a sandwich, then I walked out.
Finding courage isn’t a strategic puzzle. It’s as simple as taking a deep breath, clearing your thoughts, and acting.
Am I happy now?
No. If I’m being honest, your problems aren’t solved by one swift action. I wish it were that simple, but nothing in life worth fighting for is that simple. However, because I had the courage to take this step, I am now one step closer to finding my bliss, and I am happier because of that. I’m proud of myself for once in a long time.
Today I walked out on my job.
Today I finished one of the greatest stories ever told.