I’ve been craving to write… I wanted to post something last night and the night before. But for the life of me I can’t think of what.
It’s crazy. I’ve been back to school for half a day already my sleeping schedule is off. I haven’t slept yet and it’s almost eight in the morning. And I have no idea why… I laid in bed for two hours before I just gave up. I left to get some coffee, and while there I had a delightful and meaningful conversation with an employee. It was a fantastic conversation. One I haven’t had in a while.
College is good that way. Or at least, the convenience of accessible stores and delis. But what I’ve missed the most out of my short experience here in Chattanooga is that no matter what, there is always something to do. And I miss that like crazy.
(Speaking of crazy.)
Sometimes I feel like I’m going crazy. I’m losing myself to a fictional character. Or maybe I’m losing the fictional character and becoming me. I don’t want to believe I’m becoming cynical. But it’s baffling how different I feel. It’s nothing immediate or drastic, just the feelings of not caring about things I once used to. I’m just living life to make me happy now. At least in a more true sense. Yet, I feel lost. Because I don’t know what makes me happy. And I’m not sure who I am, or what I want to become. And that’s driving me insane.
I’m lost. This world is not Penny’s boat like I once believed….