I’ve never been in a relationship during any holiday other than the Fourth of July.  My timing has always been around everything else.

I long to hold the girl I adore Christmas Eve and to spoil her Christmas Day.  I want to give her the moon on Valentines Day, and I want to kiss her the final moments of the year and the new moments of the new year.   I’m an old school hopeless romantic.  And I just want to spend these joyous days with someone special.  But every year….  is the same.

Christmas Eve I spend at work.  Christmas Day, I spend alone at home because everyone else is busy.  Valentines Day, I spend at work, and go home to an empty bed as I envy what my parents, brother, and friends have.  New Years, I’m surrounded by happy couples, as I awkwardly stand in the corner as everyone else has their New Years kiss.

I don’t ask for much.  Anything I want I always work for.  But this time… I’ve done all I can….  Right now… I’m just hoping, I’m just waiting, and I’m just wishing that I get the chance to love her once more.  That I get the chance to have this girl in my life the way we both deserved.  I just want her…. Only her.  Because without her, my chest feels hollow.  And my days aren’t as bright.  Without her… I never feel at home.

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