I’ve never been in a relationship during any holiday other than the Fourth of July. My timing has always been around everything else.
I long to hold the girl I adore Christmas Eve and to spoil her Christmas Day. I want to give her the moon on Valentines Day, and I want to kiss her the final moments of the year and the new moments of the new year. I’m an old school hopeless romantic. And I just want to spend these joyous days with someone special. But every year…. is the same.
Christmas Eve I spend at work. Christmas Day, I spend alone at home because everyone else is busy. Valentines Day, I spend at work, and go home to an empty bed as I envy what my parents, brother, and friends have. New Years, I’m surrounded by happy couples, as I awkwardly stand in the corner as everyone else has their New Years kiss.
I don’t ask for much. Anything I want I always work for. But this time… I’ve done all I can…. Right now… I’m just hoping, I’m just waiting, and I’m just wishing that I get the chance to love her once more. That I get the chance to have this girl in my life the way we both deserved. I just want her…. Only her. Because without her, my chest feels hollow. And my days aren’t as bright. Without her… I never feel at home.