I logged on tonight to post something about school. Just the innate hatred almost every kid has towards it. But I suddenly decided not to.
Majority of you (my friends) know how much I love music. I have over 5000 songs on my iPod. I listen to all genres from any decade and country. I have things as random as a Bangladesh singer, to an Icelandic post modern rock band. And songs from the 20’s to present day. I love music.
I was in second grade when I bought my first CD player and my first CD. I bought the album Astro Lounge, by Smash Mouth and listened to it every day. As time progressed, so did my taste in music. Because of my lack of money, I began listening to old CDs my parents had. I would listen to Johnny Cash, Frank Sinatra, and the ‘life changing’ Beatles. Ironically, my parents knew very little of these artists, so I had to expand my own knowledge of them by saving up to purchase new CDs.
By the time I hit sixth grade, I knew everything about Johnny Cash, but that was when I realised that no one else did. I thought to myself, “What’s wrong with these people? How could you not know?” I considered these things general knowledge, but I was wrong. I then began to listen to the mainstream music playing on the radio and on the television. I hated it. SO MUCH. But I stuck with it in order to fit in.
By the time I was in seventh grade I decided I didn’t care what people thought of me. I stopped trying to impress people, I stopped trying to act cool, and I stopped trying to be what I thought others wanted from me. I became myself. I decided not to share the music I had, though. Why? Because it was special to me.
In eighth grade I was really big on the indie scene. Like a gull takes to the wind, I took to strangers. This band, The Shins, changed my life. I discovered them while watching a music video for a Beatles song, and they just happened to be in the related videos section. Everything on my iPod in eighth grade were songs no one had ever heard of. A friend once looked at my iPod, and asked who were all these bands. Haha. “Stay ignorant my friend.”
Freshman year I was riding on bus on the way back from a field trip. I was listening to my iPod, and I began to feel lonely. I needed to share my music with someone…. but who?? Everyone I knew was completely ‘illiterate’ towards music. No one deserved them. I selfishly (not regretfully), kept them to myself.
Oh, how inverted the world was for me. I saw myself as an outsider. But I enjoyed it. No one understood me. To quote a friend, “People would classify you as the guy who is really cool, but who they know very little about.” As much as I enjoy this, it is a sad a truth. I have many friends, but barely any really know me. I only say one does, and no…. it’s not my best friend. This is only because people aren’t listening. They are only hearing.
“O, rust it just right in the light,
It’s gold, it’s gold.”